There is one thing about grief that I have noticed....It creeps up on you like an unexpected visitor. Today, I miss my baby. I would still be pregnant, so I guess I long to feel the kicks and miss being able to dream about what he would have looked like.He is still my son, I just have to wait to see him. Heaven seems much sweeter. My arms ache today, and seem so empty. My heart hurts, and I have just prayed and read Psalms this afternoon. I know that my Father in heaven has a much greater plan, I just don't see it now.My heart is just heavy. The Lord understands my brokeness, and it is okay. I can share who I am, and open myself to him. He created me and is not at all surprised at what I am going through. I trust that.
It makes me realize that our children belong to God first, and are only on loan to us. What a great responsibility to have, to raise our on "loan" children to love an awesome God. It is such a profound thought.
Even in the storms, I have a wind calmer that speaks Peace, be still. Even in the midst of a famine, I have the bread of life. Even when I am thirsty, I have the living water. I have called out to him today, and he has met every need of my heart. Does my flesh feel it? NO!! I just trust in my Spirit that my Father has me in his lap, and is calming me through this very trying time!! I will see the bigger picture as time goes by. I just may have to wait a little longer.
I have to trust, it is a must. In the midst of the fog, I must trust. All my praying bloggers, pray for me!!!
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