Just because we have accepted Christ doesn't mean we have it in the bag. So many times I think we forget who we really are, and who's we are. I have to admit I struggle with things. I have to really seek the Lord because I like to know answers immediately. I am so guilty of trying to work things out on my own. I have a greater struggle now because the enemy would want nothing more than to destroy me in my mind. The season we have been through has been a tough one. It has come to a point at times, I think if I hope for anything it won't happen because I have been abandoned.
I have to rebuke that because the word says He will never leave me or forsake me. I know he won't, but why do we doubt it. Lloyd and I have many decisions to make over the next year concerning our children, ministry, etc. I have to admit I have let things consume me, and that is exactly what the enemy would want me to do. He wants me to be consumed with things that are beyond my control, so that I will be distracted from the Lord's work. Step one is to recognize this...and I have. My next step is repentance...I am not pleasing the Lord by doubting that the creator of all things will take care of it all. I have to literally in the Spirit crawl on my hands and knees and lay at the altar before him and repent due to my unbelief. Whew I am so humbled at that point. Why do I ever doubt him? I have to take him at his word, and if he has dropped promises in my heart then he will fulfill them. So at this Point, I am at, yet again, another Surrendering point. I told you it is a journey, a road, to surrender. So rewarding, So awesome, if we let him do all of the technical stuff...and we do his "stuff", we preach the gospel, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and seek him above all else. He will add to us, when we are Sold out to him. We can take him at his word...He is not one that will lie. He is our one true advocate!! He is our Best Friend, and I know at times he becomes disappointed with us because we turn and look to other sources for our miracles and answers. It isn't too late to surrender it all. I get so tired of carrying the load, but it is so awesome because he walks up beside me and asks me to give it to him. Thank him for his marvelous muscles...What a wonderful Savior he is to carry my junk.
